6.3.07

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1. Nas hipóteses seguintes assinale aquela que lhe parece mais surreal (autorizada resposta múltipla)

a) A Suíça invadiu o Lienchenstein.
b) A Britney Spears escreveu 666 na sua cabeça agora rapada e andou a correr que nem uma louca pela espécie de hospício em que está internada a gritar que é o Anti-Cristo
c) Os táxis de Londres vão andar pintados com anúncios à Costa do Estoril
d) O atendedor de chamadas da Rainha de Inglaterra tinha uma mensagem que começava com Iô-Tásse Bem.
e) Cavaco mandou libertar um prisioneiro e agora mandou-o prender.
f) A Vodka Absolut pertence ao Estado sueco.


2. Atente na frase seguinte:

"O que a Europa precisa neste momento é de uma Thatcher"
Álvaro Santos Pereira, economista da Universidade de York em DN,

Agora, seleccione a resposta correcta:
a) O que Portugal precisa é que continues na Universidade de York.
b) Bem te dizia para não consumires demasiado aspartame.
c) A frase, por insana e despropositada, enferma, obviamente, de má tradução e o que esta bicha disse foi “What Europe needs right now is that Cher”.


3. Leia atentamente o texto seguinte.

Um terrorista modelo
pelo prodigioso bitateiro do Correio da Manhã, o sociólogo Alberto Gonçalves.

O governo de Zapatero revela uma relação dúbia com a magreza. Se o esqueleto resultar de anorexia, a tolerância é zero. Não só os manequins de carne (força de expressão) e osso foram impedidos de participar em desfiles de moda, como os manequins de plástico para roupa de tamanho abaixo do 38 estão a ser removidos das montras comerciais. Mas se o escanzelado for bombista da ETA, em greve de fome reivindicativa de miminhos, o governo dá-lhe miminhos e manda-o da prisão para casa, por “razões humanitárias”. Suspeito também de razões utilitárias. O rapaz da ETA apenas fez explodir vinte e poucas pessoas, quase de certeza votantes do PP. Já os perigos da anorexia podem levar à morte inúmeros tontos influenciáveis, ou seja, o eleitorado base de Zapatero.


Agora que leu, vomite. Coloque o vómito num saco e faça os testes que aprendeu nas aulas de química. Envie o saco e os resultados para Alberto Gonçalves, a/c Correio da Manhã, Av. João Crisóstomo, 72, 069-043 Lisboa. Se ele responder, passou no teste. Se naão, repita a operação. Boa sorte!

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